One Plus One = One [Part Zero]

Posted by GregQualls

October 2, 2006

Part Zero – I can feel it in my bones.

For the past year I have been struggling with a concept. The idea of oneness. I haven’t completely wrapped my brain around it, but just by struggling through it I have learned so much. So I’ve been planning on blogging about it for quiet some time. So here is part zero of a four part series on oneness (it’s to much to fit into one blog…to much for four even…but I’m going to try).

I can feel it in my bones.

This thought, feeling, emotion that everything isn’t the way it’s supposed to be.

I feel like there is this great distance between who I am and who I’m suppose to be. This disconnection between what I am taught about myself and what I truly feel. I can’t explain it. I can only feel it and realize its existence.

Some would say it’s the disconnection that started in the garden. That disconnection between man and woman…people and God. The disconnection to start all disconnections. I would agree to some point….but it feels like it is more than that. I feel like that is a cop out.

I feel like there is some kind of lie out there that I’ve been buying into. That who I am…what I believe…what I do…is off. In the grand scheme of things, my cog isn’t playing nicely with others. While the world and Christian culture says one thing…I feel like the truth is the opposite.

I’m a new creation. But I don’t feel new…not even refurbished or rebuilt.
God is infinite…but I seem to only find Him in churches and the Bible.
Sex, sexuality, and anything that sounds like sex is bad…but it feels so good.
The Physical is bad…but the spiritual is good. (this is a big one)
God’s Word is the truth and nothing but the truth…so help me God?
You go to one church and I go to another.
(Even the fact that we “go” to church…but that’s another lie for another time.)
There is one God…with three parts. That just doesn’t make sense.

I’m constantly told about these different parts of my life, different truths in the world, different people, places and things, but everything seems to be connected. When you break it down to it’s essential parts…everything seems to be part of something else. Even though my soul screams “DISCONNECTION” all I can see are the connections.

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